only kramer’s family knows . .
he makes silly faces when he’s tired,
and he watches t.v. looking for dogs to bark at.
if you were kramer’s family you would know
if you were kramer’s family you would know
he mostly likes belly rubs, and belly rubs, and more belly rubs,
and you’d know the only thing he likes more than his walks are his bones.
if you were kramer’s family you would know . . .
he likes to stare up at things that sparkle or things that look like toys
and you’d know he likes to smell your face before he licks it.
you’d know he likes long walks in the park at sunset, because only kramer’s family knows,
kramer is a hopeless romantic.
if you were kramer’s family you would know
his favorite place to sleep is our bed
and his favorite place to hide is his bed
you’d know his favorite toy is the blue furry ball that squeaks
and you’d know kramer absolutely does not like his doggy food multi-colored.
if you were kramer’s family you would know kramer only eats the brown doggy food pieces
because doggy food is naturally brown anyway.
if you were kramer’s family you would know . . .
he loves to pose for cameras.
you’d know every time he hears the click of the camera
he comes front and center and does his best doggy pose.
you’d know socks don’t belong on your feet but in kramer’s bed
and you’d know he hates noises that come out of your mouth resembling ducks.
you’d know no matter what,
he will always come to the word cheerio.
if you were kramer’s family you would know . . .
he likes to sleep on the left side of the bed by the pillow
and he likes white fluffy things that resemble him to snuggle with.
you’d know better than to take his toys
because he knows he won’t stop looking until they’re found.
you’d know he like to race and he always wins
and you’d know after he wins he smiles.
you’d know his record bone eating time was two minutes and twenty three seconds.
if you were kramer’s family you would know that.
if you were kramer’s family you would know . . .
nodding his head at the ducks is his language for ‘come here, i want to play!’
and you’d know he has had swimming 101, 102, 103, and 104 but still doesn’t care for water much.
you’d know his favorite word is walk.
and you’d know his least favorite word is uh-oh.
and kramer’s family would absolutely know . . .
not to wake him when he is very tired.
because only they would know this would make kramer very grumpy
and you might even get the classic kramer stink eye
but only if you were lucky.
